One, two, three, four, five,
pills…swallow
Six, seven, eight, nine, ten
pills…swallow
Wine taste so smooth, numbness welcomed
Drink up, swallow all, there are many
more to take.
Now is not the time to turn back.
The pain, too much to bare.
Memories, clouding my thoughts
Not all memories, just the memories of a
time I cannot accept,
A time in my life when I was lost to
myself, to the world.
My life, a nightmare.
Me, invisible to the rest of the world
Cries never heard
Alone, scared, begging for it to all be
over
Death was not an option,
Death was the only option,
A death by my own hands was the only
acceptable kind,
Death by his hands, I could not fathom.
No one saw me,
No one saw the pain in my eyes,
Those that did, did they?
They never said, “I see your pain in
your eyes.”
No one questioned,
Just passed judgement,
Just talked behind my back,
I was invisible, invisible to the world
I was alone and I became too tired.
No more will to fight,
No more will to continue praying.
No more will as there was not enough
self-love left in me.
One, two, three, four, five,
pills…swallow
Six, seven, eight, nine, ten
pills…swallow
Wine taste so smooth, numbness welcomed
Drink up, swallow all, there are many
more to take.
Now is not the time to turn back.
Every turn, he is there.
Every thought, he is there.
Eyes open, eyes closed, he is there
Where ever I go, he is there.
I pretend, pretend it is not real.
I am invisible,
Invisible to the world,
Invisible to myself.
No voice, No cries, no tears.
My voice, never heard.
My cries, never heard.
My tears, as silent as my voice,
My tears, as silent as my cries.
No voice, no cries, no tears.
Silence, that is my world
Darkness protects me from the world
outside
Daylight never to be seen
Locked away in my mind,
Locked away, safe behind closed doors
Safe, within the confines of my home
Silence welcomed, I am safe from the
demons that await me
One, two, three, four, five,
pills…swallow
Six, seven, eight, nine, ten
pills…swallow
Wine taste so smooth, numbness welcomed
Drink up, swallow all, there are many
more to take.
Now is not the time to turn back.
I am lost, with lost faith, with lost
hope.
I prayed quietly to be saved,
I prayed I was not invisible to the
world,
I prayed that my pain would be obvious
to those that loved me, that said they cared for me.
I prayed that it was so obvious that
something was wrong.
I was wrong.
I pray, pray all day, every day
Pray for the strength to remain strong
Pray to continue to fight, this endless
fight
Bruised to the bone, but no one sees
Bruised to the bone, only I can feel the
pain
The pain, all in my mind from the nightmare
and the memories
I pray, pray all day, every day
That my pain will be revealed and I,
saved from self-destruction.
I pray, pray all day, every day.
One, two, three, four, five,
pills…swallow
Six, seven, eight, nine, ten
pills…swallow
Wine taste so smooth, numbness welcomed
Drink up, swallow all, there are many
more to take.
Now is not the time to turn back.
One, two, three, four, five,
pills…swallow
Six, seven, eight, nine, ten
pills…swallow
Now is not the time to turn back, swallow…swallow.
