Creating While Mindful

The ability to be mindful is often difficult.  However I have found that for me, practicing it multiple times throughout the day makes it easier for me to get myself in the state to use it to create beautiful and inspirational art that will be beneficial to be positive when I might be feeling the energy taking over my mind.  The projects I create during these moments allow me to have the ability to look at something physical, in reach of touch, and remind myself that it is important for my mental and spiritual well being to hold onto the positive energy that surrounds me, but for whatever reason, I have to become aware.

These pictures are of a desk that have been used by all three of my children and was headed to the dumpster.  Still sturdy, but not aesthetically pleasing to the eye, I decided to focus my mind to putting it to good use.  

With the many magazine clippings I have found over the last 6 months, and the shells I had collected at the beach, I changed the desk to reflect who I am, who I want to be, how I want to focus my daily recovery.  This "refurbished" desk now sits in my serenity, spiritual, and prayer area in my bedroom.  When I am working on my blog, or just my daily writing, it provides me with positive affirmations, future ambitious thoughts, and lots of writing prompts.

End result every time...creating while mindful and becoming grounded to stay positive and keep positive energy in my thoughts.

#PIG (Positive - Inspiration - Grateful) - 06/21/2016

#PIG (Positive - Inspiration - Grateful) - 06/21/2016

#Positive - Everyday since I have been home from my last journey and season, I have been able to enjoy the love, laughs, and support from my family.  The silliness, along with teenagers being teenagers with their crazy and sometimes unpredictable attitudes, and husband who reminds me of strength, family, and unconditional love keeps me grounded and reminds me of why I made the decision to do what was much needed to take care of me... The opportunity and possibility to be apart of their lives actively and not just a shell with no will, just being without living keeps me positive, grateful, faithful, and blessed! 

#Inspiration - Continued reinforcement from those I choose to be apart of my life that show me through their actions and words that the scars that we wear are simply that.  With faith and putting in the work to heal, we will be okay.  We will be better than okay.  Our scars become our weapons in our daily battles that help us to become the warriors and survivors that will not only help us, but help others to see their is light, their is power in the journey of healing and recovery.

#Grateful - The ability to remember the path of my last journey, to be grateful of my footprints that continue to lay the foundation of my new self I am working hard to find and love, to be thankful for the seasons I have experienced, and continue to walk in faith as I continue to grow and blossom into that beautiful, strong butterfly I was born to be!  My new season awaits and I have His mercy and grace in my favor as I continue to make positive strides for a better me!

#IDefineMe

#IFinallyWearMyScarsWithoutShame

#IHaveAPurpose

#HisTimeNotMine

"I Speak To You Continually" - June 20th

"I Speak To You Continually."

"Ask My Spirit to sharpen your spiritual eyesight and hearing...Practice looking and listening for Me during quiet intervals.  Gradually you will find Me in more and more of your moments.  You will seek Me and find Me, when you seek Me above all else."

- Jesus Calling - 06/20

 

 

There are those times when we are so strong.  So focused on what we need to do to get through each day with a purpose, with determination, with that sense of self-worth that is so needed to keep us in the moment, grounded, positive, and more importantly, grateful to simply be.

 

Then there are those many days when it almost feels impossible to stay present, in the moment, anything to keep negative energy from consuming every part of your being.

 

 

I have realized quite a while ago that it is okay.  It is okay to have my weak moments, cry, question, and start to ask myself the many questions of why my life is what it is.  Then I get this moment of clarity.  This jolt of something that seems almost unnatural and forces me to be still while reminding me that I am lacking faith and this is not acceptable or an option for me.  That force reminds me that my moment of self-pity, wanting to just stop fighting is over because it is not okay to stay in the pit of my misery.  There is work for me to do and it is and will not be done if I isolate and give in to the demons waiting for me to stay in the defeated mode.

 

While I am still in my head, usually laying in my bed or on the couch...I either turn to my personal book of inspiration or read my "wall of aspiration" and remind myself who I am, how strong I am, and that today, this day, I have to fight a little harder and battle my inner demons.  Why?  Because the devil is a liar and the longer I wallow in my self-pity or rent more space in my head, I am allowing that devil to get stronger.

 

So, today is a new day.  I am refreshed, energized, and feeling the positive energy that has never left my surroundings.  I am holding on to everything and anything that will keep that energy positive.  Today I focus and stay committed to having faith, being mindful, and grounded. 

 

Today, I go back to the basics.  I set up my daily to-do list and take pride in anything I can cross off that list as successful. 

 

Today, I remember to be grateful and remember that I am blessed and that I am exactly where I am supposed to be at this very moment.  I remind myself that part of my journey is being in the moment, every moment and I will get where I need to be according to His time, not mine.

"I am speaking to you in this moment.  Look around and listen.  What do you see and hear?"

 

God, it has been much too long since I truly and diligently sat in quiet to be still, observe, and listen to You, whether it be You speaking to me through others, or simply noticing what is going on around me.  Spiritually I have been suffering greatly, therefore also mentally.

 

I am hearing that I need to understand myself better, more deeply.  I need to find out what I want and need to continue to grow spiritually, mentally, and physically.

 

I am understanding I am allowing my fear consume me and it is time to use that fear, pain, and hurt once again to jolt me into action.  When I allow You to do Your work on and with me, I make positive strides, I feel my deep wounds healing, I become of service, and I am once again on the path that has been chosen for me.  With a purpose, a passion, and with fierce determination to use my healing scars to do the work that has clearly been chosen for me to do.

 

I have a purpose.  You have a plan for me and it is time to do my calling with everything You have and continue to gift me with.

 

So today, I am holding on to your strength to help continue to guide me on the path I must follow.

 

Just for today.  One moment at a time.  I will have faith and stay still and present.  I will visualize my future as I want it to be!

 

 

 

 



The Beginning of Our Journey

11/15/2015 (Sunday) @ 1:29 PM

 

Family...

 

Family loves us unconditionally no matter how much pain we have put them through.

 

When we are at our lowest points we could count on them to come through to help us.

 

We might not have liked or appreciated them when they gave us tough love, but sometimes that was exactly what we needed the most.

 

We got so caught up in our own shit, we forgot; but most of the time we didn't care where we threw the shit and who we threw it at.

 

We became selfish beings and had no problem taking, taking, and taking until we took so much that they had nothing more for us to take.

 

That sometimes did not matter to our family because we had not taken their love for us.

 

When everyone else had lost faith and given up on us, they came through every time.

 

They were just waiting for us to take that one step out of the cement to pull us up before we sunk.

 

I would call it a miracle, a divine intervention from our Higher Being that helped get us to take that next step in our journey.

 

Even for those of us that have gotten in touch with our Higher Being, trust and believe we have someone always looking out for us, something greater than ourselves that is waiting on the mountain top, ready to guide us out of our insanity to lead us on a mission of something greater and more powerful that we have ever imagined.

 

We...

 

We decided that we were ready to at least try something new, something different.

 

We had become weak and desperate.

 

In our own insanity, we forgot who were and what we wanted in life.

 

We had to be ready and willing to take the next step in our journey.

 

We had to get to a point that anything was better than the life we were living.

 

With death knocking at our door, we needed a divine intervention.

 

Be it God, Jesus, or a Greater Being of our own understanding, greater than ourselves; we had to be ready...and were.

 

Our journey was just beginning and will never end.

 

As we walk through the sand, we lay our own footprints.

 

We must not look back because the footprints we lay are in the past.

 

Look forward and continue on your path.

 

Your path is yours to make.

 

Make your path beautiful.

 

Step hard and with confidence.

 

This is your journey.

 

Be proud, not prideful.

 

Be humble, not arrogant.

 

Be forgiving of yourself because we all deserve another chance.

 

We are worthy of a beautiful life!

I Am A Survivor

Thursday, February 2, 2016

 

I am a survivor, standing strong on top of the mountain with my head held high, giving praise to my Higher Power for the strength I was given while I worked through this process.

 

I am a survivor that cried many tears.  

Tears that flowed so gracefully down my cocoa cheeks onto my pillow so many nights.

 

I am a survivor that was lost for a long time and needed to be found and comforted.

I needed to be held tightly and reminded that I was loved, I was lovable, and I was capable of loving.

 

I am a survivor that had a story that needed to be told, needed to be heard, needed to be believed.

I needed to learn to trust again.

I had a story and people wanted to listen and help,.

I just had to find the right person that was willing to hear my story that could help.

 

I am a survivor that can and will take the power back and use it to help other women and children.

No one deserves to be hurt and victimized.

We are all worthy of happiness.

We all deserve to be respected.

We all deserve to live a life where we feel safe and do not live in fear.

 

I am a survivor.

I refuse to call myself a victim.

I was victimized, but I survived.

Everyday I choose to wake up and work through my pain and recovery.

I am taking back my power.

 

I am a survivor!

 

Last Big Change Made In My Life

What's the last big change you made in your life?

 

I SURRENDERED!

 

I realized my choices, my decisions were no longer working.

I wanted to be strong and be in control, but realized the more I tried and believed I was in control, I was not.

 

They told me it was time to heal.

It was time for Michelle to be selfish, take care of herself, and take the power back so I could once again truly live and no longer be a shell afraid of her own shadow and to leave home.

 

They said I was no good to anyone and would not be unless I took my life back.

 

So, I left to work on myself and find Michelle!

 

"Whether they're good or bad, changes always take some getting used to."

- author unknown