My Self-Therapy

Some people wonder why I write about certain topics.  I do so because I love to write and writing is my emotional release and a tool I have used.

If I stopped and always worried about what others thought of me, I would be lost.  Being like everyone else never got me anywhere.  I have often been described as:  outspoken with a matter of fact attitude who is a leader and not a follower.  This is exactly who I am.  Yet, I choose to try to be humble, appreciative and understanding of others.  I do not like to pre-judge and I like to walk my own walk, toot my own horn and make my own footprints that others might one day follow. 

Therefore, I write from my heart.  I write so I can continue to help myself revolve.  I write because my words might touch someone that will allow them to also make their own footprints that others might one day follow. 

So, if you are wondering why I write what I write about, DON'T!  AND DON'T JUDGE NEGATIVELY!  Simply enjoy, appreciate and open your eyes and hearts to those around you!

Have a wonderful day, because I am feeling blessed.  I am feeling good.  I am feeling like someone gave me a shot of self-love, self-motivation and a sense of self-peace.  Something I have been in need for and have been fighting for, and today it is here!  XOXOXO

Today I Feel Good

What do you do when you are feeling down?

What do you do when your thoughts are overwhelming and you can't keep the memories away?

What do you do?

We each do things differently.

No room for judgment, simple understanding and respect that each person handles their pain, their struggles differently.

Today, I have been awake most of the night, fully awake since early this morning.  At times pacing back and forth in my room.

Today, I woke up my children, with a very calm voice.  Their refusal to wake after the 2nd time did not get my pressure up.  I went to them the 3rd time and told them they needed to get it together, stated in a calm voice.

I started cleaning and organizing.

I started planning my day.

Today, like most of my days, I take each day and celebrate it.

Today, I reflect and thank God for all of the glory in my life.  My situation might seem to be bad at this very moment, but someone has gotten it worse.  I am thankful for what I do have and who I do have in my life!

Today, I reflect and appreciate that I am here and I am surrounded by those that love me and work with me through my struggles, no judgment, only support.

Today, I refuse to lay in the bed and feel sorry for myself.

Today, I challenge myself to be productive for myself, not for others.  I remember that I cannot be of service to anyone else if I do not take care of me.

Today, I meditate, breathing in all life has to offer and continue another day as a survivor, another day as a strong woman who has a purpose.

Today, I feel good.  It is early and I have things to do!  Things to do to continue to make me feel good!  Today, I feel good!

A Moment

A moment of peace,

A moment of calmness,

A moment of self-understanding,

A moment of self-acceptance,

A moment of self-love.

How beautiful that feeling is.

From deep within, penetrating every part of my being,

It is one of those days I am so in love with myself,

The feeling is so intense, I have satisfied myself, no help needed, because self-love is stronger than no other.

It is one of those days I am at peace.

It is one of those days I take in what life has to offer.

It is one of those days I love the view from where I am standing.

It is one of those days when I believe in who I am, believe in what I can give, believe I have a purpose.

Those days sometimes seem a million miles away, but today, I can feel it so deep within, call it prideful, call it sinful, call it what you may, I am alive at this moment.

I am happy at this moment.

I am satisfied who I am at this moment,

Nothing anyone can say at this very moment will take that feeling away.

Funny thing about it, the happiness is simply an appreciation for what I have at this moment in my life.  The people, the love, the joy of seeing my successes in the children I birthed, seeing that I am a proud momma, I am a proud wife.  If there are any successes that can overcome any failure that I might have felt, they are no longer.

The wind blows the negativity away,

The rain washes the sins away,

The sun shines through the grayness that encompasses the darkness that strangles me.

Out of the darkness I rise,

Out of the darkness I have surrendered,

Out of the darkness I have released the little girl from within,

I have rocked her,

I have wiped the tears away,

I have washed the sins away that she has held deep down within.

I am at peace because I am calm,

I have self-understanding and self-acceptance because I have self-love.

How do we overcome the pain day after day?

We don’t, it is impossible to run from it every day, we forgive, but never forget

We remind ourselves that forgiveness releases the demons from within.

Forgiveness is for our own self-preservation.

Forgiveness is our own rise to redemption

Today I have overcome the pain because I have allowed myself to forgive.

The memories, the pain will return.
 
At those times I must remember to care for the child that is within in so much pain.

I must rise out of the darkness, let the sun shine on my body.

I must let the tears run down my face, let the water drip from my body as I release the pain deep from within.

I must forgive because I enjoy being at peace, I enjoy the feeling of calmness, I enjoy the feeling of self-understanding, I enjoy the feeling of self-acceptance, I enjoy the feeling of self-love.

I must forgive to allow myself happiness, because the feeling I have today is so precious (with a tear of happiness falling from my chin, true happiness showing deep from within, showing through my eyes and my smile).  Yes, I did good today!

Yes, I said it...SUCK IT UP, I AM WHO I AM !!!!

What makes us the person that we have become?

Is it the happy moments in our life?

Is it the painful moments in our life?

Is it the trials and tribulations that we have endured to this point?

What makes us the person that we have become?

It is all the happy moments!

It is all the painful moments!

I am the person I have become because I have walked the many miles it has taken to get me to the point I am at today.

I am the person I have become because I have smiled the many smiles that have crossed my face.

I am the person I have become because I have cried the many tears that flowed down my face.

I am the person I have become because I have loved so hard, so deep, so passionately.

I am the person I have become because I have endured more than one should, but I kept my head high and proven integrity and self-love is the cure for hatred spewed unto me.

I am!

I am!

I am the little girl within that has said enough is enough, love ones’ self, love the devil, because even the devil himself needs someone to love him!

Be the bigger person, be the better person, show how love can cure hatred.

Take those arms, wrap them around thyself, breathe deep, breathe hard, take in the love that surrounds you and remember you are loved.

Remember, you are special. 

Remember, you have a purpose.

Remember, you are the only one that controls your destiny.

Do not allow someone else to steal your joy.

Do not allow someone to rob you of who you are.

Remember, you have to love yourself first.  How do you expect someone to love you more than you love yourself?

Sometimes I stand in the shower, holding on tight to the walls, trying to cleanse myself of the poison.  Praying and crying that the sins of my past will rinse away, down the drain, never to be found again. 

I have scrubbed all the secrets away. 

I have scrubbed all the sins away.

I have scrubbed all the hurt and pain away.

There is no evidence.  It all went down the drain.

I have cleansed my soul.

I have cleansed my pain away.

I have cleansed my demons away.

I open my eyes, almost closed shut tight with all the tears.

I open my eyes, grateful for a new beginning.

The beginning I gave myself.

The beginning I allowed myself.

I cannot and will not expect others to save me.

I will have the will to rise myself out of the pits of self-pity.

There is NO ROOM FOR SELF PITY!

Get on your feet girl!

Love yourself girl!

Embrace the life you have been given/dealt!

You are stronger than all of that!

You must laugh in the face of defeat, because defeat is temporary!

You own this!

You own this life!

Your life is what you make it, sink or swim baby!

SUCK IT UP AND TAKE A STAND!

TAKE A STAND AS THE ONE WHO DEFEATS ALL REGARDLESS OF ALL THE OBSTACLES!

YOU ARE MICHELLE

YOU HAVE NO TIME FOR SELF PITY BECAUSE THE PARTY MUST GO ON!

LET’S GO PEOPLE, I DO NOT STAND FOR SELF DEFEAT!

I STAND FOR PRIDE, WISDON AND PASSION!

I STAND FOR SELF LOVE!

I STAND FOR “I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS SHIT!”

SUCK IT UP, ACCEPT YOU WERE GIVEN A RAW DEAL AND YOU HAVE OVERCOME!

SUCK IT UP, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!

SUCK IT UP, YOUR TIME WILL COME WHEN IT IS MEANT TO BE!

SUCK IT UP, MOVE ON AND GET T STEPPIN’!

I AM READY FOR BATTLE!

I AM READY TO BE CHALLENGED!

I AM READY TO TAKE A STAND  FOR “DON’T FUCK WITH ME CUZ I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR BITCHES THAT BRING ME DOWN, I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR SELF PITY BECAUSE I AM SO IN LOVE WITH MYSELF I ONLY HAVE ROOM FOR OTHER LOVERS, NO HATERS!

CALL ME CONCEITED, CALL ME PRIDEFUL, CALL ME BITCH, SO BE IT, EAT UP!  NOT ENOUGH FOR HATERS, I KEEP HATERS CLOSE BECAUSE THOSE THAT TRULY LOVE ME WILL SHINE THROUGH IN THE DARKNESS!

I HAVE AWOKEN.  I HAVE UNDERSTOOD I MUST LOVE MYSELF BEFORE ANYONE ELSE CAN LOVE ME!

I HAVE AWAKENED…OHHHH SHITTTT!!!