My silence has been represented by an understanding that no one wants to hear my sorrows anymore.
But guess what?
It is NOT about you!
I must, I must for my survival, be selfish!
I must, I must be expressive and not worry about what others will think!
I must believe that those those care and love me understand me, support me and know how to do that whether at arms length, or holding me up when I have fallen and can't support myself!
My silence is a representation of who I am, how I feel, what I think my self worth is at this moment,
The moment and moments that I have silenced my voice,
I am searching fiercely to express myself.
Searching to express myself without any restraints
Yet, I understand some constraints are needed, I am all out of whack.
Not out of wack to myself, but to others.
Maybe...the good thing here is I don't give a damn who and how this affects others at this point. For some, this might be alarming...for others, you understand and respect that I am healing in my own time!
My silence has held me captive for so long. Captive in a world of distress, dishonesty and despair.
My silence has drawfed my growth and,hell no, not anymore!
Birds of a feather flock together and I am not that feather!
I am that ugly duckling waiting...waiting,. waiting
I am that ugly duckling waiting to turn into the swan that puts the look of awe in all those that stare uncontrollably.
I am that Dumbo, pecuilar and so out of my comfort zone,
Simply waiting for those that look at my perseverance to look in awe as I graciously and patiently stand in the line of self-determined success.
The success is not the success that others have decided are mine.
The success is what I have determined is mine.
Birds of a feather flock together and I am not that feather!
I am that shooting star that comes unexpectedly.
I am that eclipse, that is once in a lifetime to some.
I am ME, the one who will, with tenacity, weather the storm and at the end, survive and work through the turmoil.
I am a survivor.
I am self-empowered.
Why? Because I have a reason to live. I have a reason to feel happiness and enjoy my life on this Earth.
Why should I not be happy?
Why should I live in misery? Misery loves company and guess what Misery?
I am a miserable piece of shit sometimes. My misery far out weighs yours and you in no way can take it on.
So, guess what?
Let's make a pact!
I will overload your plate. I will handle mine.
What does this mean?
It means if I have people in my life that truly care and love me, they will weather this storm. No different a storm than I have worked through before.
The difference, I am a willing fighter, a willing warrior in this battle. I will not lay down my sword and be defeated. I will fight and will continue to fight for happiness, satisfaction, for inner peace.
Why, because I deserve it and I am damn worthy of it.
Don't like it?
Let me know now, leave my surroundings.
Leave me and let me be.
I will be just fine with whomever is in my corner of this fight.
Trust and believe, defeat will lose!
Birds of a feather flock together and I am not that feather!
I am that shooting star that comes unexpectedly.
I am that eclipse, that is once in a lifetime to some.
I am ME, the one who will, with tenacity, weather the storm and at the end, survive and work through the turmoil.
I am a survivor.
I am self-empowered!
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