Treasure Yourself, Make Your Future an Imprint

The house is quiet,

Family is sleeping peacefully. 

Moon shining brightly, surrounded by the bright stars.

Even deep in space, the brightness of a new day awaits me. 

A new day to cherish all I have been blessed with.

I can’t sleep,

Mind is racing.

Racing with thoughts and memories that haunt me. 

Thoughts of how I have been hurt. 

Thoughts of how I have felt betrayed.

Thoughts of why and how I could allow myself to be taken advantage of.

Negative thoughts.

Attempting at every opportunity to overpower the positive energy within me.

I repeat to myself, “you are blessed, you have so many things to be grateful for!”

I raise my body from my bed and look back at my husband. 

As soon as I see his face, I smile and tell myself, “Yes, you are blessed!”

Slowly not to wake him from his dreams, I rise out of the bed and walk to my children’s room.

I look at each of them, one at a time and remind myself, “Yes, you are blessed!” 

I remind myself, there is no room for selfishness.

I must be well, I must be happy.  I must do this for myself so I can be strong for the family. 

If Mommy is not happy how do I expect to raise happy children and have a happy home? 

I tell myself to think about how I am present in each of my children.

How have I contributed to the success my children have had to this point? 

Though this should be enough, it isn’t.

I walk downstairs to look at family albums. 

Pictures have always allowed me to look back and appreciate where I am today and what I have endured in the past.

Page by page, album by album, tears of sadness, tears of joy, tears of appreciation for who I am today pour down my face. 

I count down from10 to 1,

I breathe long, deep and hard,

Tears replaced by silent internal happiness and laughter.

How do I get to this point time after time?

Easy,

I am human.

I feel, I hurt, I have a heart and though I sometimes put up a strong front, I have my moments where I have to step back and take care of me. 

I remind myself, if I don’t allow myself to feel what I am feeling inside, it will come out someway, somehow.

I am allowed to have emotions.

I am allowed to work through my emotions.

I am allowed to feel, I am allowed to cry.

I have the control. 

I do not have the control to change others and their actions, BUT,

I have the control to decide how I will deal with others and their actions.

I will not allow others to decide how and what makes me happy, yet I will search deep within to find out what it is I want for my life.

What do I want that will make me happy?

What do I need?

What do I want?

How do I go about getting to the place of inner-peace?

Who do I want to be allowed to be apart of that happiness?

Who is worthy of being a part of my happiness?

While I look at the memories in each of the albums, I gaze at the faces of those that have supported me no matter how low I got.  They are faces of those that fought harder for me than I fought for myself. 

They loved me more than I loved myself at times.

They fought for my survival, for my existence, stronger than I fought at times.

My eyes try hard to stay open. 

The thoughts in my head have calmed.  They are no longer racing.

I am at a place of happiness and acceptance at this very moment.

I remind myself that each time I feel the weight of the world bearing down on me to hard, I need to stop and breathe in what life has to offer.

I will be at this place again, but how will I deal with it the next time?

Reflect on the past.  

Do not let it hold you back.

Allow it to push you to the next step of inner-peace. 

Let the past stay in the past.

The past is a history lesson. 

The past is a lesson we learn from so we do not make the same mistakes. 

The past allows for us to have a future that we learn to appreciate and make it what we want.

Treasure your past history, we are who we are because of it!

Make your future an imprint for others to treasure!