There are not many times or days lately that I feel at peace.
My days (for the last year and a half) come and go, and sometimes I lose track of time.
It is those moments when I am grounded and I am mindful of what is going on positively in my life that I pray for and am happy to be in!
It is those moments when I can feel a little bit of freedom from the devil trying to take my glory away.
The fact is that the devil is only allowed to be in your life it you allow him to be.
So I take the love from those that surround me and hold me tight and I remember that I am loved. I remember that I have a purpose and that I will be okay at the end of it all.
Not sure when this ending will be...
I remind myself that the fight is one that will continue for awhile.
I have a lot of trauma to work through.
My trauma has been years...it will not work itself out overnight.
I no longer take for granted the people and things around me that make me feel good.
I no longer take for granted that I am as vulnerable as I allow myself to be.
I no longer take for granted that there are just a lot of the devil's demons roaming around, trying to take GOD's glory.
Everyday I wake, I am thankful for waking up.
I am thankful that I was able to fight the demons away and I was able to survive another night.
There are nights when I hold my husband tight and without him knowing completely why, he holds me tighter, reminding me that he is my rock and he is there for me, he is my support, my backbone, especially when there are nights I cannot bare the pain any longer.
Those nights when I wake from a nightmare, I hold my husband tight, waiting for him to turn to hold me tighter.
He whispers in my ear that he is there for me and I am safe.
I love that Man I call my husband! He is my rock! He is my Knight and Shining Armour! He always has been and he continues to be.
I pray for his continued strength everyday, because he needs it. He has earned it.
He cries for me.
He tires for me.
He fights for me to keep pushing through when I can no longer do so on my own!
It is those moments, my darkest moments that I remember how wonderful that the belief that their is light at the end of the tunnel that it becomes real for me!
I am lucky!
I am so lucky and remember how life becomes wonderful with the belief their is a light when I have someone holding that light for me and won't let go until I can get through that dark place trying so hard to keep me under!
Thank you!
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