5:30 PM...

It is 5:30 PM on Wednesday, September 24th and the day seems to be going so long.  I have so many things on my mind.  To keep my focused, I made sure I forced myself up to go to work, not just get my girls out for school.  I arrived at work, started tapping had on the keyboard and completed a lot of tasks.  Tasks I have not had any energy to do all week.  Yes, physically sick, but have to admit, a lot of it was mental.

I have been writing a lot today because my therapist believes that writing will help me.  Not just writing down when I am in crisis and having flashbacks.  Also writing when I am just feeling things.  Good and bad.

So, at this very moment, I have finished work, but doing some homework so my night is a little calm and I can actually do some relaxing.  I intend to continue homework when I get home, but also I plan to try to do some self-soothing exercises.  Anything to keep me moving forward in a healthy way.  Anything to keep me positive and focus on the good things going for myself.

I am ready to get my life back.  I have been saying this for awhile.  Unfortunately I have good days, but more bad days.  Today I will consider a good day, just because I have left my couch, left my home and doing something productive rather than sleeping my life away.

I have my intensive program tomorrow evening.  I have missed the last three, so hopefully they will allow me to continue.  I left a message, asked that they allow me to return tomorrow evening.  That is all I can hope for.  I am trying to do what I can so I do not end up back in the hospital.  I am trying to do what I can so I do not get so depressed that it is even harder than what it is right now to climb out of where I am now.

I have so many things on my mind I want to write about, but I think just writing what is on my mind right now is enough.  I have to be thankful for the little things and the little accomplishments.  These add up and these are exceptional accomplishments for me at this time.

Until later...