Happy Birthday To Me

10/22/2015 (Thursday)

It is my birthday and I keep telling myself this isn't real.

This can't be happening, because this has to be a nightmare I will wake from.

Just open you eyes and you will see, it never really happened, it was all in your mind.

Most likely you just watched a bad movie and you watched it too late, to lose to bedtime.

I force my eyes open and the heat from the sun is no longer just that.

The rays are shining brightly through the back pane of my van, almost blinding me.

I can feel drips of sweat dropping on me as each thrust moves my body up and down.

I can feel the sweat in between my skin and his, making out torsos glide as if oil was poured in between us.

I scream in pain as he thrusts himself deeper into me.

While I am pleading for him to stop I start to push him off.

That only makes him go deeper and harder.

After what seems like minutes, I stop fighting, in hopes he won't continue to be so rough anymore.  But to no avail, he thrusts into me deeper.

My cries quiet and I just let the tears flow, in hope that he will just hurry up and finish.

No, not yet!

He asks me, "Don't you like your birthday present?"

I ask him, "Why?  Why are you doing this to me?  It's my birthday!  Why on my birthday?"

"Because I really like you, you are my girlfriend, this is what I am supposed to do for my girlfriend."

I should have called his bluff.  But I was too afraid.

Always so unpredictable, and most of the time, making true to his threats.  I was so positive he would make true his threats today, I didn't want to take any chances.

What would my husband say if there was wine, pictures, possibly a video of me addressed to him in the mailbox?

It had been a few wees where I "submitted" to him, and the threats and roughness did lessen.  But even after a short while, he had become even more physical, hurting me more, and becoming more rough and aggressive sexually.  The only thing differently was no surprise visits to my job.  I had to be thankful for that, for the smallest reprieves, because I was slowly breaking, losing it, and I was not sure if it would get me more hurt if I didn't obey his every command.  This is who I had become, "his submissive whore of a girlfriend."  As long as I played this role, I was "safe." 

I was hurting so bad.  He was not easing up.  Thrust by thrust, he brought increased force.  I felt so raw.

I had thought he finished, but he had not.  He was now ready for me to give him oral.  I tried so hard to refuse, but I could not fight him.  I even thought of biting it off.  But, I didn't have the strength to fight.

He was furious with me because I wasn't giving him pleasure.  With the little bit of energy I had, I was trying my hardest to fight him back.  I still had not learned.  He reminded me with his one hand to my neck and the other pulling my arm behind my back that he was in control and I was going to finish him off.

I was at one point able to ask him again, "Why, why are you doing this to me on my birthday?"

Furiously, he turned me on my back, and while forcing himself into me, as raw as I already was, he took it from me again.  This time much harder than before and making me repeat that I was his "submissive whore of a girlfriend."

He kept on while I cried in pain until he finished.  Then lying on me, repeatedly saying, "Happy Birthday.  This is one you will never forget.  You are such a good submissive whore of a girlfriend."