When She Entered My Life

11/10/2015 (Tuesday) @ 2:47 PM

She saw me, just sitting on the bench in my own world.

She must have seen that I just needed some reassurance that I was not invisible, or...

She was just that type of person.  Loving, caring, intuitive, and one with the ability to feel when someone just needed a supportive hello and a welcoming smile.

For me, she was what I needed at that moment, one of God's Angels sent to me, just for me, at that very moment.

Still a little bit scared, timid...if ever I can call myself that, she appeared before me the next day, once again.

Immediately, I let my guard down.  Shoulders relaxed very much, intrigued to what I was witnessing.

This beautiful Angel sent by God just for me had her yarn out, crocheting with a rhythm and grace that made the light shine directly on her.

Again, a message just for me that this beautiful woman was highly favored.

I kept my eyes on her, every hand movement, watching in awe the gift she was given.

She must have seen through the corner of her eyes, but I would like to believe she felt me zoning in on her, only her, because she looked up and smiled at me.

I knew what she was doing of course, but I asked anyway,  "Are you crocheting?"  She answered me yes.  She was making what I clearly saw was to be a beautiful scarf...in one of my favorite colors.  I responded, "I crochet also...I brought my stuff with me!"

I am not sure what it was about this beautiful child of God, but in my heart, in my soul, she immediately was adopted as my sister.

Whether she wanted to be or not.

Over the next few days I would watch as she moved within these walls with this confidence and energy that was contagious.  Where ever and whenever she was present, she greeted everyone with that beautiful smile that made you feel warm and loved.

When she spoke, her words flowed through the room and even tired, sick, lonely, she made you want to look at her, in her eyes, and listed to those words of wisdom that put a little bit of hope and encouragement that was needed to get you to want to hear more and  participate more.

Whether or not she wanted to be or not...I wasn't going to ask her, but she was now my sister...my sister for life.

These are not words of goodbyes or sadness.  These words are those of thankfulness, gratefulness, and I will see you soon, we will speak soon.

Whether you were aware or not, your words comfort me.

Your daily hugs was a reminder that I am loved and capable of being loved.

When you speak with me, you do not speak to me.

You open your heart to me, ask me how I am doing, and even when I am not, you call my bullshit and tell me you are there for me.

When you see the pain on my face, in my eyes, you come close to me, stay by my side, silently telling me you are there for me.

That smile.  Damn, that smile!  You brighten up every room, and when the days are rainy and dreary, your smile is my sun.

Thank you for entering my life.  I am grateful that God sent an Angel to me, just for me when I needed it.

Yes, you are my Angel.  That's right, you are mine, all mine, and I really don't want to share you with anyone else.

I have to though.

You definitely have a purpose.  Even if you do not know what that purpose is at this very moment, know this...

You, Ms. Nina, my sister Nina...You have touched so many lives during your stay here.

Yes, you have a gift with those beautiful hands of yours.

Please do me a favor my dear sister Nina...

Take care of yourself as much as you take care of everyone else around you.

Love yourself as much as you love everyone else around you.

Look in the mirror everyday and tell the young Nina and the Nina today that they are loved and are worthy of being loved!

Then name all the things you are grateful for that day with the first one being, "I am grateful for another day of sobriety!"

My dear sister Nina, you are a force to be reckoned with!  Strong, positive, smart, beautiful, gifted, talented, loving, compassionate, lovable...my dear sister Nina!

An Angel sent by God to enter into my life at the very moment you did.

You got this girl!

I love you very much and you are always with me, near or far.

An Angel send my God, just for me, just for me!