Thursday, 05/14/2015
Today, May 14th I was supposed to be walking across the stage to receive my AA from SPCC. This accomplishment would have been a well deserved, lots of work milestone that I had worked so hard to achieve.
I feel like I am about to explode. Regardless of how I feel, I am going to put on my face and keep it moving. I don't need to give any explanation on what is going on with me or the reason why I am feeling some kind of way.
I will say that the one thing I came into the hospital for was for the most part achieved. I wanted to get away from using alcohol as a way to cope with the flashbacks, nightmares, or inability to sleep. The medications they have me on are helping. While my sleep is not 100% yet, last night's sleep was much better...so, I have some hope.
I have had hope during my stay at this hospital, but, nothing much has changed in regards to my situation. All the same stressors are sill there. It was not that I was expecting them to go away or get better by themselves. I was just hoping to receive more direction and assistance.
So, I go home tomorrow, I have missed my graduation ceremony and not sure if I will be able to register for the summer. NO MONEY! I don't even know if the gas is back on at home, lights, or water are on...I have missed a week and a half of work. NO WORK, NO PAY!
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